CHEARS

Grief, for those who have not experienced it, is a concept shrouded in mystery. For those who have, it is one of those exceedingly painful emotions that are too difficult to express. Unfortunately, the present situation has forced too many people to not only experience the loss of loved ones but also live with that pain and grief without being able to seek help. The pain of loss often comes back years after we believe we’re “over it”, and is often just as painful as the first time. With effort, however, the pain can be managed by surrounding ourselves with people who can gently

support us through these difficult times.

Understanding Grief

While dealing with grief there are absolutely no rules and no fixed time period to overcome it. For some people it might be a few weeks, for some, it would take a few months and for some, it might even take years because the road of recovery could be filled with blocks. There are several signs and symptoms that we might experience while grieving. Some of the most common are shock, disbelief, sadness, guilt, anger, fear, and physical pain. Some may experience them briefly, some for a longer period, and some may not even experience all of them. However, it is essential to acknowledge these symptoms and our emotions and feelings in order to make sense of what might be happening. Any sort of judgment must not be passed on oneself, others or neither should we allow others to pass any judgment. Everyone has a right to grieve and entirely experience their grief. The process of grief is attached with some serious myths like ‘The pain will go away faster if you ignore it’, ‘It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss’, ‘If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss, ‘Grief should last about a year and many more. Instead, the facts are that the pain experienced during grief is very similar to physical pain and ailments and therefore shouldn’t be ignored and instead actively dealt with. Our true feelings must be expressed in order to help ourselves and others around us. It is not important to put a brave/protective front for our family and others. Crying is a very normal response to grief but one must not assume that it’s the only one. The only way out of grief is through it. Miss them, cry your heart out, share that pain that only you experience, give yourself time to heal. Yes, we have to overcome the pain after a while because life or time doesn't stop for anyone, but grieving properly is equally important so that it doesn't affect your mental health, and so that you don’t slip into a state of depression. One must understand that this process of grief is unbridled. Hence, it is paramount to treat ourselves with compassion, patience and just let the process take its course.